


slivers of sunday

by thatsformetoknow



Series: portfolio [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hopefully you will too, M/M, Reuniting, but its nothing explicit, but uh, but you can also go into this blind, ex shance, gothic maybe?, hopefully kind of eerie and beautiful, i like this a lot, kind of a blink and you miss it at the end so maybe try not to skim lmao, okay uh idk how to tag this, potentially triggering content, thats kind of what i was going for, this is kind of um, this is set potentially not in the modern day, use of candles as light sources, which is available for viewing dont worry, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 23:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20125447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsformetoknow/pseuds/thatsformetoknow
Summary: He finds Shiro sitting in his armchair, reading the paper when he comes in. He hangs up his coat, and rubs his hands together, eager to go and put a sweater on instead. He stops in his tracks, blinking at him.“How was your walk, dear?” He asks, not looking up from where his eyes are scanning over the pages.“That’s from four months ago.” Lance says, frowning. He snatches it out of Shiro’s hands, looking at the page he was reading.”LOCAL MAN MISSING FOR THREE WEEKS, BODY NOT FOUND”He closes it and tosses it aside.“Why do you still have that?” Shiro asks, looking at it disgruntledly.





	slivers of sunday

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, fyi there could potentially be some triggering content in this fic. It’s nothing explicit, but if you are likely to be triggered please go and read the ending notes before the fic to see what they are, otherwise you can go into this blind <3

The room drops about ten degrees. There’s a smashing of a mug in the sink where Lance is doing the washing up as footsteps come behind him. He knows he’s there before he turns around. 

“What are you doing here?” Lance asks, clenching his jaw and not turning. He doesn’t want to see him. 

“I missed you.” Comes his voice, soft in the cool air, and Lance can almost feel it hot against his ear. 

“You left me.” Lance says, looking at the smashed pieces of china in the soapy water, before drying his hands on his shirt and shakily turning around to look at him. “You left.”

“I missed you.” He says again and Lance feels his bottom lip tremble. 

“You can’t be here.” Lance says, shaking his head and forcing himself to avert his eyes. Shiro can’t be here, not like this. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make it better.” Lance snaps, moving past him, and being careful not to brush their shoulders. Lance doesn’t want to touch him. “You left. You broke me.”

“Lance…” He says, and Lance lets out a breath, eyes falling closed as he collects his thoughts. 

“I’ve been alone in this house for- since you left.” He says, gesturing around him. 

It’s not just dark, it’s gloomy. There’s a candle lit on the table and the wax has dripped onto the wood. The cushions on the chairs aren’t plumped and their dirty dishes piled by the sink. The windows are closed, but rattling with how the wind outside is howling, battering against them. 

Lance didn't mind this place back when Shiro had been there to share it with him. But now… He can barely remember what it looks like with the sun streaming through, because it doesn’t these days. There are clouds and it rains and storms, and it’s fitting, really, for Lance’s broken heart. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” Shiro says and Lance looks at him. 

“Sorry doesn’t-”

“Make it better, I know.”

“I was going to say change things. Sorry doesn’t change what happened. You can be sorry all you like, but it’s never going to fix things, it’s never going to make things like they were.”

“I know.” Shiro nods. 

“But I appreciate it, at least.” Lance says. 

“Can I stay a while?” 

Lance hesitates, moving back to the sink to clear up the broken china. “I suppose.” He says. He doubts there would be much he could do to stop him, anyway. 

He glances back as Shiro moves to sit down, looking at him. Lance can’t read him, has no idea what he’s thinking, so he busies himself with clearing things away. 

“Why haven’t you come before now?” He asks and Shiro blows out a breath. 

“I didn’t think you were ready to see me again.” He says and Lance hates that he’s right. “I didn’t want to do more harm than good.”

“You are always harmful to me, Takashi Shirogane.” Lance says, cracking a small smile, which Shiro returns. 

“I know.” 

“You broke my heart.” Lance says, looking down. “You broke _me_.”

“I know.” He says again, and he at least has the decency to look guilty. 

Lance moves to the table, sitting down opposite him. “Would you like something to eat?”

Shiro shakes his head. “I’m not hungry. You should eat something, though.”

Lance shrugs. “I don’t get very hungry these days.”

“You should eat something.” Shiro persists and Lance goes to the cupboard. 

They’re pretty empty; Lance hasn’t been shopping for a while, and they creak when he opens them. He gets some bread and butter out and sits back down at the table, lightly spreading some on a slice and eating it. 

“Happy?” He asks and Shiro looks at him disapprovingly. 

“I suppose.”

“Why do you care, anyway? You left.”

Shiro sighs. “Lance… You know it’s not like that.”

“It has to be like that. I have to tell myself it’s like that to cope. Otherwise I’ll go crazy.”

“I miss you.” Shiro says softly, reaching out for him. 

“Don’t touch me!” Lance snaps, snatching his hand up before Shiro can try to take it. “Don’t try and touch me.” He says again, calmer, looking Shiro in the eye.

“Okay, sorry.” Shiro says, breaking his gaze and looking down. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

“If you like.” Lance says. It’s no use fighting it, he’s been fighting himself for too long, he can’t fight this too. 

“I can take the sofa.”

“You can take whatever.” Lance shrugs, finishing off his slice of bread and putting the butter away. “I don’t care, either way.”

Shiro stays seated at the table while Lance finishes up in the house, cleaning the rest of the dishes and putting them away and then heading for the stairs. 

“You can come up in a few minutes if you like. Otherwise I hope you have a good night.” He says, and Shiro nods. 

He goes upstairs, peeling his clothes off and pulling one of Shiro’s old shirts over his head. He’s been sleeping in these ever since Shiro left; he left them here, and they used to smell like him. They don’t anymore, but Lance has gotten so used to it, now. He likes them. 

He blows the candle out by his bed that’s been burning for far too long, nearly down to the base. He must have forgotten to put it out, earlier. He settles down into bed, sighing. The sheets are cold and feel heavy over his body. 

It’s dark out, yet a little sliver of moonlight peaks in through his old tattered curtains. He might have used to think it beautiful, but now it’s just irritating. He closes his eyes, turning on his side and pulling the other pillow against his chest. That one doesn’t smell like Shiro anymore, either, but it’s enough that it used to be his. 

Shiro’s downstairs, but that might be a good thing. He wouldn’t be able to cuddle with him anyway. Not like this. 

***

It’s only just light when Lance wakes. He doesn’t sleep much these days, anymore. He pulls open his curtains and goes into the bathroom to wash. The water is cold, but that’s okay, he’s used to it. 

He puts on some clothes, they’re clean enough, and they’re old, but they work. He goes downstairs and looks around. Shiro’s gone. 

The couch doesn’t look slept on, and Lance can tell, because the cushions are creased in the exact same way that they had been before Shiro got here. He doesn’t think that Shiro stayed at all. Maybe Lance really is going crazy and he imagined the whole thing. 

Why would Shiro come back, anyway?

He doesn’t see Shiro again for a few days and he tries to put it out of his mind. He goes out for a little bit, the wind is still fierce, and rain looms in the air, water on the ocean chopping below the cliff. 

It’s beautiful, but it must be below freezing out there. Everything is dark and gloomy these days, and somehow it’s more than just seasonal. Lance thinks that anything light he might have had inside of him died when Shiro left. He’s not going to be able to get it back, he misses him so much. 

He pulls his coat around his chest, feeling the chill in his bones and makes his way back to the house. He really needs to tend to it; there are vines and ivy growing up the sides of it, weeds everywhere. It gives it a certain charm, though, even if it is an eery one. 

He finds Shiro sitting in his armchair, reading the paper when he comes in. He hangs up his coat, and rubs his hands together, eager to go and put a sweater on instead. He stops in his tracks, blinking at him. 

“How was your walk, dear?” He asks, not looking up from where his eyes are scanning over the pages. 

“That’s from four months ago.” Lance says, frowning. He snatches it out of Shiro’s hands, looking at the page he was reading. 

_”LOCAL MAN MISSING FOR THREE WEEKS, BODY NOT FOUND”_

He closes it and tosses it aside. 

“Why do you still have that?” Shiro asks, looking at it disgruntledly. 

Lance shrugs. “I don’t know.” He says, gathering it back up and shoving it into a cupboard. “I keep all sorts of things. Why were you reading that article? It’s old.”

Shiro shrugs. “It’s interesting.”

“It’s old news.”

“Did they ever find it?” 

“Find what?”

“The body.” Shiro clarifies. “Of that man.”

Lance looks at him for a few moments. “No. No they didn’t.”

Shiro shrugs, shaking his head. “Poor family.”

“Yeah.” Lance agrees. “They buried an empty casket. People put letters and stuff inside.”

“Were you at the funeral?”

Lance nods. “The whole town went.”

“Did you put something inside?”

Lance gives him a look. “He was a popular man. Most people put things inside. But like I said, it’s old news. D’you want a cup of tea?”

Shiro shakes his head. “I don’t really drink a lot of tea, anymore.”

Lance shrugs. “Suit yourself.” He says, going over to the stove to make a cup for himself. “Why are you here?”

“I told you, I missed you.”

Lance sighs. “You didn’t stay, before.”

“I did.” Shiro argues. 

“The couch wasn’t slept on.”

“I didn’t say I slept on the couch. But I did stay. For a while, at least. Sorry I had to shoot off in the morning, I would’ve stayed to see you.”

“It’s whatever.” Lance says, shrugging. “I don’t really care.” It’s a lie. 

“What are you making for dinner tonight?” Shiro asks, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. 

“Are you cold?” Lance asks, glancing at him and Shiro shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ll put something together. Why, are you staying?”

Shiro bites his lip, looking conflicted. “I’d better not. I’ve got things to do.”

“Of course you have.” Lance nods. “Will I see you again?”

“Would you like to?” Shiro asks, a smile spreading across his face, which Lance doesn’t return. 

“I think so.” He says. 

“Then you will.” 

“Stop breaking into my house.” Lance says, frowning and Shiro laughs. 

“I haven’t broken in even once.” Shiro says and Lance purses his lips. 

“Sure.” He says. “Are you going?” He asks, as Shiro gets up and nods. 

“Yeah, I want to head off the storm.”

Lance glances out the window where he can see the trees already billowing in the wind. 

“Okay, be safe then.”

Shiro looks down, frowning. “Thanks. I will.”

Lance doesn’t say anything else, watching as he heads for the door and then turns his back. He doesn’t want to watch him go. Not after last time, not when he left. He left and he never came back, and Lance doesn’t know why he’s back now. He really, really doesn’t. 

***

He starts seeing Shiro everywhere, all the time. It’s like he always knows where Lance is. Lance thinks maybe he’s following him, trying to get Lance to forgive him, so he’ll take him back. Lance won’t take him back, he _can’t_.

He sees him out in the fields, sometimes, when the wind is fierce and the air is biting. Shiro does nothing more than raise a hand to him with a smile, and be on his way. It’s unsettling. 

He sees Shiro out in town, at the market, he’s looking at the fresh fruit and again, raises his hand to Lance in greeting, and makes no move to come over. 

He sees him in the graveyard, reading the inscriptions on the graves and looking at the flowers that are left there. Lance leaves immediately and decides to come back later. He doesn’t particularly want to share this with Shiro. He’s still grieving and he doesn’t want anyone around, especially not Shiro. 

This is Shiro’s own fault he’s out of Lance’s life, anyway; he left him. 

He sees him on the beach, when Lance is looking over it, he thinks he’s looking for rocks. Shiro always did used to like bringing strange looking rocks home. Lance still has a collection of them outside their front door. 

He’s there when he gets home, but he never stays long. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, in the arm chair. He keeps reading that same paper from four months ago and Lance really needs to throw it out, because he doesn’t like it. 

He’s decided that he doesn’t want to see him anymore. He doesn’t like this. It’s like Shiro is stalking him, and he can’t get a moments peace. 

“I don’t want to see you anymore.” He says one afternoon as he comes in and Shiro looks up, having been immersed in his thoughts. 

He frowns. “No?”

Lance shakes his head firmly. “No. I don’t know what this is, but… You can’t make amends for what happened, Takashi. You left me. You broke my heart and you left me and I can’t take you back, so you need to leave, and you need to not come back.”

Shiro looks down, the corners of his mouth tipped down sadly, but he nods and stands up.

“Alright.” He agrees. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry.” He says and Shiro nods again. 

“I hope you’ll be okay.” He says and Lance doesn’t look at him. He can’t take this anymore. He’s trying to leave Shiro in the past where he belongs, and how can he when he’s everywhere like this? Lance deserves better than that; having his ex looming over him, everywhere he goes. 

He doesn’t say another word to him, and Shiro walks towards the door, and then he is gone. 

Lance lets out a breath, looking to the doorway, finding it indeed empty. He sits down by the fire and lights it, trying to warm the place up a little. 

Things are finally going to be okay, now. He can move on. 

***

Things aren’t okay. 

Lance doesn’t know why Shiro came back but it fucked him up, badly. He’s looking for him everywhere, every place that he’s seen him before, every place even before he left he’s looking now. 

He’s always looking for his face, searching him out, and he isn’t there. He can picture Shiro sitting in his armchair, with the paper, and he finally throws that thing out. He doesn’t need it, anyway. 

He misses him and he misses him so badly that it hurts. Its always hurt, ever since Shiro left him it’s hurt, but it had dulled, at least. 

But now it’s back at full force and it aches and it aches and it aches, and Shiro’s everywhere but nowhere. 

Lance can picture him everywhere that he’s ever been, but he’s _nowhere_, and Lance misses him. 

Things aren’t okay. 

When he finally sees Shiro again, he feels like he can breathe again. Everything feels a little lighter, and Lance knows that everything is going to be okay. 

His face brightens as he sees Shiro in the doorway and Shiro gives him a tentative smile in return. 

“I know you said not to come back, but-”

“I missed you.” Lance says, rushing over to him and throwing his arms around his neck and Shiro stills. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, voice low. 

“What?” Lance asks. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“I- Lance, what have you done?” He asks, eyes wide. 

“I missed you much, I never should have told you to leave.” He says with a soft smile on his face, _so relieved_ to see him again. 

Shiro pushes past him, deeper into the house. He’s looking around frantically now, and he bolts up the stairs. Lance frowns, looking after him and following him. 

“Lance what have you done?” Shiro asks, voice shaking and he’s white as a sheet. 

“What do you mean?” He asks, following Shiro’s line of vision. “Oh.” He says, looking at the body in the doorway. “I forgot about that.”

He bites his lip, looking at it. He hasn’t looked at it, yet. Almost… forgotten it was there. 

“Lance…” Shiro says, eyes fixed on it- on him. 

“I just wanted to see you again.” Lance says quietly. “I missed you.”

Shiro manages to tear his eyes away, focusing on Lance’s face. His eyes are glossed over with tears. 

“I never should have come to see you.”

“Yes, you should have!” Lance says fiercely. “Shiro… I can’t do this without you, I need you. I’ve been a mess ever since you left.” He says, running a hand through his hair. “They never found your body, and I’ve been going crazy here by myself. Maybe I _am_ crazy. But… I needed to be with you again, to be able to touch you again.” 

He cups Shiro’s face to prove his point and Shiro sighs softly. 

“I never wanted this for you.” 

Lance gently kisses his lips. “I never wanted this for _you_, but here we are. We can be together now, like we’re supposed to be.”

Shiro wraps his arms around Lance tightly, holding him as though he’s afraid to let go. “I should have been here for you, I could have stopped you…” He says softly, and Lance knows where he’s looking behind him. 

“Stop looking.” Lance says, pulling back and cupping his face again, focusing Shiro’s eyes on his own. “I’m right here.”

“You’re over there.”

“I’m right here.” Lance says again, stroking his thumb over Shiro’s cheek. “I’m right here, my love, right where I should be. With _you_.”

**Author's Note:**

> ***trigger warnings*** major character death, implied/referenced suicide
> 
> They haunt the house together for a few years while they work through their problems and eventually move on together 
> 
> Right this was a one time thing I know I’ve built up a reputation (on twitter at least) for being someone who vehemently will never kill shance and will always give them a happy ending
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated !! 
> 
> [you can check me out on twitter here](https://twitter.com/thatsforme2know)


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